Exclusive: Pope Francis Talks to the Beatles Channel

The beloved, down-to-earth, everyman leader of Catholicism Pope Francis, sat down this past week with DJs Dennis Elsas and Bill Flanagan on their weekly show. The Fab Forum is a fan favorite, broadcast on the Beatles Channel.

Yours truly was also there and, although they forbid me asking questions — or any speaking whatsoever for that matter, I was able to capture a fascinating exchange. The pope’s words were translated by the now aging hipster priest Father Guido Sarducci of Saturday Night Live fame, who said he was honored to come out of retirement to help out. Enjoy!

The Beatles Channel: Good morning to you Your Holiness, I can’t tell you what an honor it is to have you on our show!

Pope Francis: (After long pause) Thank you very much boys.

BC: Your Holiness you’re widely known as The People’s Pope. We were wondering how much your love of the Beatles had to do with that?

PF: I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking me.

BC: Ha ha ok, maybe I’m jumping the gun here a bit, Holy Father. Let me start instead, by asking you if you like the Beatles and maybe tell us how much you like them if you can?

PF: Oh yes, I was always, and I still am a big fan! I was in my 20’s when they became popular and they were, how to say it, on fire in Buenos Aires and in Chile where I was for studies and for work. I remember I was teaching high school at the time when they became very big and all the students as well as many of my fellow teachers were always playing the songs or singing them.

BC: Ahh fabulous! So you were teaching music and used some Beatles music in your classes? Then maybe we can get into specifics there?

PF: No, no…I taught literature and psychology, not music.

BC: Oh I see, pardon me. So let me ask you Holy Father, how much did you like the Beatles?

PF: I liked them very much. Like I’ve told you, they seemed to be everywhere during that time, and I enjoyed their music. I believe everyone did.

BC: So, would you say then Your Holiness, that you were a bigger fan than most?

PF: How can I know that? I told you I liked them very much…that’s as much as I can say.

BC: All righty then, let’s try a different track here...we were given a list — something you might call a cheat-sheet with some very interesting facts about you and your life. Let’s see here….I see you studied philosophy and are a trained chemist. That’s interesting! Oooh, you used to be a bouncer — amazing! You owned a Harley, wow! Sounds like a real tough guy! But you DO also have a softer side as well! I see you like taking selfies, you dance the tango, and you once had a girlfriend who was quite possibly the love of your life. Incredible! Let me ask you about her. Was she a big Beatles fan?

PF: I don’t really know. When she was in my life, it was quite a few years before the Beatles were popular.

BC: Uh huh, ok I see. I also see here that you’ve invited several homeless men to your birthday party, which is quite a beautiful show of kindness and compassion Your Holiness. Let me ask you, because both of us here at the Beatles Channel would love to know, were many of those homeless men Beatles fans? That’s something I haven’t thought about very much — how much does Beatles music resonate with homeless people…I would think they do. Oh and also if you can tell us might you have played some Beatles numbers at your birthday party?

PF: I’d say that some of them must have liked the Beatles yes. As for the music, I’m sure we played some Beatles songs at the party, but I’m sorry I can’t remember, it was almost five years ago in 2016.

BC: Ok that’s fine….maybe they played the “Birthday song”? Or “It’s Johnny’s Birthday”?

PF: Yes, it’s surely possible.

BC: I don’t know if you realize, Your Holiness, that “It’s Johnny’s Birthday” was composed by George Harrison, and word is he wrote it fairly quickly.

PF: That’s very good to know, yes.

BC: Isn’t it though?! Well, it’s been a real honor for us Your Holiness! I want to wish you all the best, especially in your work on behalf of the downtrodden as well as the message of love that you carry everywhere, which we can say is also the message of the Beatles…ooh, and I just remembered, we meant to ask you about Jesus too! A few items for discussion there, like the Lennon-Jesus controversy — you know the “we’re more popular than Jesus” thing…Also we wanted to ask you in general terms about the Jesus-Beatles connection. Not to mention your thoughts on the Netflix “Two Popes” movie, which in fact, also has a little-known Beatles connection! You’ll have to promise us you’ll come back for another visit with us, will you Your Holiness?

PF: I will do my best. Bless you boys, from the bottom of my heart*.

*The Fab Forum hosts indicated they believe that final sentence fragment “from the bottom of my heart” was added by translator Father Guido Sarducci as a show of good will and in the spirit consistent with the Beatles message of LOVE!

Note to fans: There’s yet no word on when the next papal visit to the Beatles Channel may come about but rest assured, we will keep you posted!